Hello again, my dear followers. I'm here only to tell you how am I doing in my life.
Right now, to be honest, I'm sad as fuck. I think I may have entered into depression again. You know, the therapist told me that depression is never gone, it lasts forever, but you need to have the willpower to overcome it. But I guess I'm not strong enough.
I stopped eating a little bit, not like two years ago, but I admit that I'm eating so much less food, I don't deserve to eat though. Yeah, I know I'm a little hard to myself, but this self-hate needs to get out or I'm going to get root inside... and I don't like how that smells.
My stomach is hurting, my eyes are wet and my butt hurts because of the fucking chair I am sitting on.
Next week there's a national festive day in which one people doesn't work, we don't go to school, and most of the shops are closed, but you know what? I can't visit my boyfriend, even if he has a festive day too. It sucks.
I'm trying so hard to see him, but I can't help I cant! My parents are super negative with our relationship, even if I told them we hadn't seen each other in THREE MONTHS. AND THEY SEEM NOT CAREING.
DUH.
I'm done.
Bye.
Daily fucked-up Deb.
Wednesday, 2 December 2015
Wednesday, 16 September 2015
Sorry guys.
Yes, I know I hadn't post anything in a long time, but I have my reasons: I couldn't write posts when I was on my boyfriends house because my cellphone just stopped working, and I hadn't got any PC. Yeah, I know I came the 12th, but I arrived at 11:30p.m, and I was so tired to write. I fall asleep as fast as I lied in bed.
The Monday I started the school, I'm on my last year, so I have a lot of stuff to do, so I hadn't got time to talk to you, Debliebers. But is not my fault, talk to my teachers and tell them to give me a break! I'm overwhelmed and it's just my third day of class!!
Whatever, I wanted to tell you that my English homework for today was to write an alternative ending for "Beauty and the Beast". I'm so proud of the result, so I'm going to share it with you, just for enjoying it. I hope you like it as much as I liked to write it! <3
Love!
Daily Deb~
"The Beast was one of the most desirable princes around the country, so many princesses wanted to date him. The Beast made contact with tons of women, but even if they fall in love with him, he was not able to love them too, no matter how much he tried, he thought he could never love anyone. When he was about to give up, a friend of his supported him and helped him as much as possible. They spent a lot of time together, trying to find his soulmate, but they didn't succeed. So, the last day arrived and the Beast was feeling horrible, scared of becoming a beast forever. At least, he had his friend with him, just like all the last years. Then, he realised he was in love with someone, so he run into his friend and declared his love. A violent silence appeared, but it was broken, as the magic spell, with a kiss of them. Love does not understand about gender, age or nacionality, it's just people loving people.
And they lived happily ever after."
The Monday I started the school, I'm on my last year, so I have a lot of stuff to do, so I hadn't got time to talk to you, Debliebers. But is not my fault, talk to my teachers and tell them to give me a break! I'm overwhelmed and it's just my third day of class!!
Whatever, I wanted to tell you that my English homework for today was to write an alternative ending for "Beauty and the Beast". I'm so proud of the result, so I'm going to share it with you, just for enjoying it. I hope you like it as much as I liked to write it! <3
Love!
Daily Deb~
"The Beast was one of the most desirable princes around the country, so many princesses wanted to date him. The Beast made contact with tons of women, but even if they fall in love with him, he was not able to love them too, no matter how much he tried, he thought he could never love anyone. When he was about to give up, a friend of his supported him and helped him as much as possible. They spent a lot of time together, trying to find his soulmate, but they didn't succeed. So, the last day arrived and the Beast was feeling horrible, scared of becoming a beast forever. At least, he had his friend with him, just like all the last years. Then, he realised he was in love with someone, so he run into his friend and declared his love. A violent silence appeared, but it was broken, as the magic spell, with a kiss of them. Love does not understand about gender, age or nacionality, it's just people loving people.
And they lived happily ever after."
Monday, 7 September 2015
Second day on Boyfriend's house.
Well hello, I know this post is late, but yesterday I fall asleep as fast as I lie down on my bed.
Yesterday, we went to the Pepper's Party. I know it sounds as a joke, but I promise is not. It was on another village, so we went on the car about an hour and a half. When we arrived, it was crowded and there was a queue for eating fried peppers. We were on the queue for 50minutes until it was our turn and we could get our peppers. Then, we ate and went back home because... surprise! My bf get ill. He had headache and his stomach was hurting. But on the way back home, he started feeling better, and we stopped the car for getting grapes from the trees.
(Just for you to know... it's illegal 😂)
Then we went back home and stayed there for a short period of time, and we decided to go to his aunt house to bring her her clock, some grapes and cookies (we bought this last one).
At night, we decided to go to the village parties, but it wasn't cool at all, so we went back home early. We get a tiny dinner and we went to sleep.
That was my day! I'll see you later with this one day...
Daily Deb~
Saturday, 5 September 2015
First day on Boyfriend's house.
Hi everybody! As I told you a few days ago, today is my first day on my boyfriend's house, yay!! I'm so happy!
We hadn't seen each other in a month, so we were both excited for that. I arrived well, on a 2-and-a-half-hour-travel, but it diserves. So, here I am, writing from his bed, because this is the place where I'm going to sleep this days.
The house is his parent's house, so we must sleep on different rooms. He's sleeping on the living room right now. I feel a little bit sad for him, but we both now we couldn't sleep togheter on his parent's house.
However, I'm going to tell you what we did today:
I arrived about 4:30p.m, so they just have lunch. My parents and I didn't have any meal, so we decided to buy some desserts for eating while drinking coffee. Hummm, tasty! Then my parents take the way back home, and my bf and I stayed at home. About 8.00p.m we leave the house and go on a walk. Then I met some of his friends, but we didn't stay with them. He showed me the village because I've never stayed there before. It's as cute as big, OMG! When we were on the walk, we found a lost cat. We stayed with it about 30 minutes, and then it left. So sad :( but we didn't have time to go on searching it, so we take the way back home and we have dinner. I ate an hamburguer as big as my head, I'm going to get fat! 😭 LOL, not a big deal.
Then we try to watch a film, and I say try because my bf fall asleep soon. Poor him, he was tired!
Well babies, I'll se you tomorrow on another post.
Daily Deb~
Thursday, 3 September 2015
This is the story.
Hi, it's 2:19p.m on night and I'm feeling down, so I wrote a thing that I want to share with you. Is not as good as the other things I've written, but it makes me feel better. However, there you got.
The story.
This is the story of a dead girl,
with a dead mind,
on an alive body.
Dying her life with a happy smile,
with her sad eyes,
with her sad days.
This is the story of that dead girl,
the story of her family,
of her boyfriend,
of all those voices,
that screamed away that she was worthless,
useless,
pointless.
This is the story of all those cuts,
of all those scars,
of all those tears
that will remember her
what she has been through
and what remains.
This is an endless story
of a dead girl
with no hope
with no sense
with no life
with no control
with anything
that would make her
start breathing again.
Fuck love.
Daily Deb.
The story.
This is the story of a dead girl,
with a dead mind,
on an alive body.
Dying her life with a happy smile,
with her sad eyes,
with her sad days.
This is the story of that dead girl,
the story of her family,
of her boyfriend,
of all those voices,
that screamed away that she was worthless,
useless,
pointless.
This is the story of all those cuts,
of all those scars,
of all those tears
that will remember her
what she has been through
and what remains.
This is an endless story
of a dead girl
with no hope
with no sense
with no life
with no control
with anything
that would make her
start breathing again.
Fuck love.
Daily Deb.
*Glub*
Hey you, it's me, Deb...
Huuuuhhh, yeah, I know it's been a long time without posting anything, and I know you all want to kill me hahaha. Okay, no. Sorry for this stop! But I wanted to tell you on this post that if I don't write anything don't get mad and send me messages writing about why I'm not writing, my life is not that interesting, you know. So I know I promised you that I would post daily, BUT now I've realised that is totally innecesary posting my daily life if there's nothing interesting at all. I mean, you don't want to know what I have for breakfast, what time is right now, and stuff like that. I will post when I think there's something that you would like to know, just like: I'll post everyday since the Saturday 5th because I'll finally go to see my boyfriend, and I know right that you want to know all about those days, horny guys, hahahahahaha.
So yeah, we are going to date those days, I'm going to stay all day on his house, but the problem is that there will be his parents... I'M FREAKING OUT!! For the most innocent people that don't know what I mean with that:
So yeah, there you got that big problem. We talked about making out on the street, on a dark corner, on a park in the night... But it doesn't makes me so happy, but I have to tell you that it wouldn't be the first time that we do something sexual out in public. Yeah, I know you want to hear about that, so I think I'll do a "Daily Sexual Deb" post weekly. If you want me to do that, leave me a comment to make me know it! I need to tell you that I'm happy about the idea, but I need some feedback of you to make me still writing. I know you are a few people who is following me, but you're not subdcribed to my Blog, or you don't even leave a comment! So please... feedback!
I think there's all that I wanted you to know, so...
See you soon!
Daily Deb~
Huuuuhhh, yeah, I know it's been a long time without posting anything, and I know you all want to kill me hahaha. Okay, no. Sorry for this stop! But I wanted to tell you on this post that if I don't write anything don't get mad and send me messages writing about why I'm not writing, my life is not that interesting, you know. So I know I promised you that I would post daily, BUT now I've realised that is totally innecesary posting my daily life if there's nothing interesting at all. I mean, you don't want to know what I have for breakfast, what time is right now, and stuff like that. I will post when I think there's something that you would like to know, just like: I'll post everyday since the Saturday 5th because I'll finally go to see my boyfriend, and I know right that you want to know all about those days, horny guys, hahahahahaha.
So yeah, we are going to date those days, I'm going to stay all day on his house, but the problem is that there will be his parents... I'M FREAKING OUT!! For the most innocent people that don't know what I mean with that:
So yeah, there you got that big problem. We talked about making out on the street, on a dark corner, on a park in the night... But it doesn't makes me so happy, but I have to tell you that it wouldn't be the first time that we do something sexual out in public. Yeah, I know you want to hear about that, so I think I'll do a "Daily Sexual Deb" post weekly. If you want me to do that, leave me a comment to make me know it! I need to tell you that I'm happy about the idea, but I need some feedback of you to make me still writing. I know you are a few people who is following me, but you're not subdcribed to my Blog, or you don't even leave a comment! So please... feedback!
I think there's all that I wanted you to know, so...
See you soon!
Daily Deb~
Monday, 31 August 2015
31/08/2015.
Hey you, it's me, Deb!
Tomorrow is September, and that makes me happy because it means I'm going to start school early! Yay! New adventures, good times with my friends, learning a lot... it's awesome going to school when you study what you want, not what they tell you. I'm studying Humanities, with languages like Latin, Greek... also I'm studying History, and I don't study anything like Maths, Physics, Biology...
Well, I wanted to tell you that I didn't do anything special today, but I talked with my boyfriend about all this shit on my head and we talked about the cheating topic, and now we're well. I'm fine with it, I can overcome it and I'm so happy today because I know I love him, and I know he loves me. We are the perfect couple lmao, not really.
I also wanted to tell you, just for you knowing and laugh, that today on morning while I was writing my ex-boyfriend post, my grandma came to my room TOTALLY NAKED. I was like WHAT THE HELL GRANNY PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!! and all she told me was: "Hey Deb, I'm going to take a shower". I was shocked. Wtf granny?? Don't do stuff like that ANYMORE! But that's not all, the worst thing is that the window was completely opened and the blinds were up. On the community of my neighborhood we have a commun area with a pool, and children is always running, swimming and playing there. Okay, my room is viewed by all who are on the common area. Guess how many children saw my granny naked today... NAILED IT, GRANDMA!
But my day doesn't end up there, nope. Tomorrow I have to go to the dermatologist and I didn't know it until the 12:00p.m. I didn't have a shower because I wanted to take it tomorrow's morning and my hair wasn't dirty enough, so when I realised that I have to go to a doctor tomorrow I freaked out and I decided to DYE MY HAIR AT 1:00P.M. BECAUSE I'M FLAWLESS. The fact is that I've never dyed my hair on my own before, my mum always did it, but today I hadn't got time for that and also she was asleep, so I have to do it on my own... The result was AWESOME! I'm so proud of myself, it looks like I've just come out of the Barber Shop! Okay, not like that, but it looks great and healthy! (that's difficult because I'm blonde...) and I'm so happy with the result!
And I think there's nothing left to tell you today... Oh, yes! I'm going to do a Tinkerbell's film marathon this night. So excited! Yeah, I know I'm too old for those films, but I don't care, I like them and I'm going to see them whenever I want, and PROUDLY!
See you tomorrow!!
Daily Happy Deb! <3
30/08/2015. (LATE)
I know I didn't post anything new yesterday, because I didn't feel like writing a new post, so there you got a new double post.
Today I've been stalking my ex boyfriend's Twitter, just for curiosity, and I saw some tweets that made me think. I saw that now he's getting depressed, and nobody is caring about it, just like when we started dating on 2012, and also a tweet said LITERALLY: "Are we in 2012 yet? Or 2013? I don't mind". Well, so I'm going to pull away all my fucking anger. This is just for you:
I know you'll never read this, but however I'm going to tell you what I think about you. Our relationship was a fucking very gorgeous shiny sparkling shit. Yeah, it could seem pretty from the outside, but only we both know how it really was. We were not in love, at least not you. Now, I know I wasn't in love with you, also. We were dating because of we need to be with other person to feel something, but, you know? You'll never diserve my feelings or even my tears. You were the shit of our relationship! You always wanted everything, you didn't gave me my space. You made me doubt about my best friend, just because you were jealous of him, even when I told you I'll never feel anything for him! But you still doing all this shit, and that's the reason of your fails on relationships. You're manipulator, cold, distant, observator. Your love is not even strong as the other person's one. You don't love anyone but yourself! And not even that, because YOU HATE YOURSELF!!! You're so self-destructive and that hurts the people who loves you, like your parents or your sister, OR ME WHEN I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND, but you NEVER think in the other person, it's only you!! When you started acting mad, you scared me, you made me cut, you made me feel like the worst person in the world just because I couldn't make you happy, but now I'm older I can realise that it was all YOUR FAULT, AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THAT, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TREAT PEOPLE AS THAT, YOU TREAT THEM LIKE SHIT, LIKE OBJECTS OF YOUR OWN THAT YOU CAN CONTROL HOWEVER YOU FUCKING WANT, AND IS NOT LIKE THAT!! People need space, need to live their lives. Now I know that you'll never diserve me, and I've been a long time sad because of our breakup, but the only thing you really broke was my mind, not even my heart. You made me change, you made me a depressive person. But as I said, you don't diserve anything from me, so I'll be happy as hell while I watch how you burn yourself down in flames, and nobody is going to help you, because you are a fucking piece of shit.
Never yours,
Daily Deb.
Saturday, 29 August 2015
29/08/2015.
Hey you, it's me again...
I'm depressed today. I've had a fight with my boyfriend and we hadn't talk yet since that. I don't feel good.
Also, I didn't do anything interesting today. I hadn't go to anywhere, but I watched that film I told you yesterday, "Dear John". It's awesome, I liked it so much, but I much rather "The Notebook".
However, I'm still waiting a message from my boyfriend, but I think he's not going to text me today. He's angry, and proud... but I'm proud also, and I won't text him. At least, not yet.
Those fights are usual in us, but it feels so bad. I don't like it, I don't like to be angry with him. It makes me so sad.
I had nothing to tell you today. Sorry about this post, you guys. I hope the next one will be longer.
See you tomorrow.
Daily Deb.
I'm depressed today. I've had a fight with my boyfriend and we hadn't talk yet since that. I don't feel good.
Also, I didn't do anything interesting today. I hadn't go to anywhere, but I watched that film I told you yesterday, "Dear John". It's awesome, I liked it so much, but I much rather "The Notebook".
However, I'm still waiting a message from my boyfriend, but I think he's not going to text me today. He's angry, and proud... but I'm proud also, and I won't text him. At least, not yet.
Those fights are usual in us, but it feels so bad. I don't like it, I don't like to be angry with him. It makes me so sad.
I had nothing to tell you today. Sorry about this post, you guys. I hope the next one will be longer.
See you tomorrow.
Daily Deb.
Friday, 28 August 2015
28/08/2015.
Hey you, it's me, Deb!
My period hasn't come yet... awesome. I'm scared again. Today I've watched TWO FILMS: "Tinkerbell and the legend of Neverbeast" and "I am the Juani". Tonight, I'll see "Dear John". I need to tell you that the Tinkerbell one made me cry more than "The Notebook". I'm serious. It's awesome if you like animals.
The other one made me remember my boyfriend. "I am the Juani" tells the story of Juani, a girl who lives on Barcelona and wants to be an actress. His boyfriend, Jonah, cheated on her and she caught him while he was fucking that bitch... and sadly, this is what made me remember my boyfriend.
I'm on a one year relationship and now we are happy as hell together, but when we were on our 2 months, he cheated on me with two girls. Yes, I know, I'm so dumb for forgiving him, but understand me, I was in love with him... and now, this thoughts are torturing me again.
I just can remember the moment when one of the girls texted me and told me that she was the new girlfriend of him, and told me to forget about him. I was shocked. At first I thought it was a joke and it was him from the mobile phone of a friend, but actually it was not. It was real. He cheated on me.
I couldn't break up with him, but I asked him for a time, only a week. It felt so weird, the fact of seeing him "online" and don't text him. But that was what I decided and I wanted to respect it... as you can imagine, I couldn't. After a day, we went back together, and we still, but sometimes I remember this and I can't stop crying. I know he loves me, and I love him too, but I think I'll never forget this... I have to live with it. Those are thoughts that I can't fight, I have to deal with it.
I'm not feeling good today... such a shit day.
I'll talk to you tomorrow, dears.
Free love (without cheat, please)~
Daily Sad Deb.
My period hasn't come yet... awesome. I'm scared again. Today I've watched TWO FILMS: "Tinkerbell and the legend of Neverbeast" and "I am the Juani". Tonight, I'll see "Dear John". I need to tell you that the Tinkerbell one made me cry more than "The Notebook". I'm serious. It's awesome if you like animals.
The other one made me remember my boyfriend. "I am the Juani" tells the story of Juani, a girl who lives on Barcelona and wants to be an actress. His boyfriend, Jonah, cheated on her and she caught him while he was fucking that bitch... and sadly, this is what made me remember my boyfriend.
I'm on a one year relationship and now we are happy as hell together, but when we were on our 2 months, he cheated on me with two girls. Yes, I know, I'm so dumb for forgiving him, but understand me, I was in love with him... and now, this thoughts are torturing me again.
I just can remember the moment when one of the girls texted me and told me that she was the new girlfriend of him, and told me to forget about him. I was shocked. At first I thought it was a joke and it was him from the mobile phone of a friend, but actually it was not. It was real. He cheated on me.
I couldn't break up with him, but I asked him for a time, only a week. It felt so weird, the fact of seeing him "online" and don't text him. But that was what I decided and I wanted to respect it... as you can imagine, I couldn't. After a day, we went back together, and we still, but sometimes I remember this and I can't stop crying. I know he loves me, and I love him too, but I think I'll never forget this... I have to live with it. Those are thoughts that I can't fight, I have to deal with it.
I'm not feeling good today... such a shit day.
I'll talk to you tomorrow, dears.
Free love (without cheat, please)~
Daily Sad Deb.
Thursday, 27 August 2015
27/08/2014.
Hey you, it's me, Deb!
I'm writing from the hospital: my mother had a date with the doctor, but the hospital has delay and we've been waiting for two hours since we came here. DISGUSTING!! I just want to go home! And that's not all: there is so fvcking cold. I think there are less than 18 degrees. I'll write later!
So here I am again. It's 9:45pm. Today was a busy day. By the time we arrived to the hospital, my paternal grandmother became ill, so we found her right there, on the Cardiology's room. She told us that the cardiologist has to check her because she'd got a little heart attack. I was so scared, but we wait until the cardiologist told us that she was well and there were no problem but a low-salt diet (because of her high tension). We were very relieved when we heard that.
After the hospital, we went back home, and my dear mother decided to make a Full-House-Cleaning, of course, with my help. My work was to clean the courtains, the windows and the blind. Cool. I spent about a hour an a half to get only all the windows clean. While I was doing this stuff, the courtains were on the washer, and as you can imagine, I also had to hang up them again, but I'm a awkward girl, and the drapery rod just broken up when I started hanging the third one... don't yay me. By the time the drapery rod breaks, my mother came into the living room and saw what just happend. You can imagine the anger she threw me... I tried to fix the drapery rod with electrical tape, and it worked. But it's a secret... don't tell anyone!
When I finished my work, I wanted to lay in bed, just for a few minutes to rest a little bit, but I fall asleep quickly, and nobody woke me up!! :(
Then when I woke up, I had some messages from my boyfriend, so we were talking for a long time when her mother took his phone and sent me: "Hi Deb, would you like to come home for 6 days? Ask your parents, the door is open". I was shocked, LOL. Btw, I ran to my father and I told him as fast as I could, and he told me that it was right, but I had to take my mother's permission first... fvck, there I have a big deal. I went to the living room where my mother was playing a videogame and I asked her permission. At the beginning, she told me that she didn't want me to go his home (I think because of all the pregnancy stuff... haha), but then I told her I will be on my period in those days, and the fact that I won't do anything with him in his parent's house, so she told me that she was going to have a think. YAY ME, I HAVE A POSSIBILITY!!
Well dears, I'm going to watch a film. I don't know which one, but I'll tell you tomorrow how it was!
Free love~
Daily Deb.
Wednesday, 26 August 2015
26/08/2015.
Hey you, it's me, Deb!
*BEFORE YOU READ: I'm so sorry about posting this late, really, but I couldn't post it earlier because I had dinner with my parents and we had a very long talk, so... here I am, there you got the answers you were asking for. Enjoy!*
Today was a lazy day for me, I didn't feel so happy to make things as always, so I decided to stay all day at home. But I know you're waiting for the results of my pregnancy test, so there you have... the answer I get was NEGATIVE, so I'M NOT PREGNANT! YAY ME!!!
I was a little bit scared at the beginning, because I had to make pee on a glass, and that's a little bit difficult for a girl. I mean, girls don't have any thing that moves for scoring in a glass. I put my pregnancy test into the glass, and I started waiting 'til the result appeared on the screen, and it was a minus sign! It meant negative! I'M TOTALLY FREE! So now I'm just waiting to my period, not to enthusiastic, but meehhh, it's no use crying over split milk!
So, as I told you before, I stayed at home all day, I didn't feel good to make things. I was searching on the internet some films to watch in the evening, and I wanted one about love that would make me cry! So I chose "P.S: I love you". I thought it could be a good film, but actually is not (at least for me)! It's long as hell and boring as a stone! It's too slow for me. The main character it's a girl who was widowed just at the FVCKING BEGINNING, and the whole film is about how our widow receives a lot of letters from her dead husband, who sent them before he died, and how she's trying to forget him.
Tbh, I hadn't finished the film yet, and I think I'll never do, because, as I told you, is BORING, blah!!
Now I'm going to watch another film, maybe a Disney's one! IDK!!
See you tomorrow! Free Love!~
Daily Deb.
*BEFORE YOU READ: I'm so sorry about posting this late, really, but I couldn't post it earlier because I had dinner with my parents and we had a very long talk, so... here I am, there you got the answers you were asking for. Enjoy!*
Today was a lazy day for me, I didn't feel so happy to make things as always, so I decided to stay all day at home. But I know you're waiting for the results of my pregnancy test, so there you have... the answer I get was NEGATIVE, so I'M NOT PREGNANT! YAY ME!!!
I was a little bit scared at the beginning, because I had to make pee on a glass, and that's a little bit difficult for a girl. I mean, girls don't have any thing that moves for scoring in a glass. I put my pregnancy test into the glass, and I started waiting 'til the result appeared on the screen, and it was a minus sign! It meant negative! I'M TOTALLY FREE! So now I'm just waiting to my period, not to enthusiastic, but meehhh, it's no use crying over split milk!
So, as I told you before, I stayed at home all day, I didn't feel good to make things. I was searching on the internet some films to watch in the evening, and I wanted one about love that would make me cry! So I chose "P.S: I love you". I thought it could be a good film, but actually is not (at least for me)! It's long as hell and boring as a stone! It's too slow for me. The main character it's a girl who was widowed just at the FVCKING BEGINNING, and the whole film is about how our widow receives a lot of letters from her dead husband, who sent them before he died, and how she's trying to forget him.
Tbh, I hadn't finished the film yet, and I think I'll never do, because, as I told you, is BORING, blah!!
Now I'm going to watch another film, maybe a Disney's one! IDK!!
See you tomorrow! Free Love!~
Daily Deb.
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
25/08/2015.
Hey you, it's me, Deb!
I'm so anxious!!! Today I've bought my first pregnancy test. I hope it will be negative... I'm so scared.
About a month ago (not exactly, idk, duh) I had sex with my boyfriend, but he used condom! But I'd started to bleed by my vagina for 4 complete days. I was so nervous because I didn't know what could it be, so I told my mum: she doesn't get mad, she understood me and try to comfort me. She told me that if we use protection, the possibility of getting pregnant was the lowest, so I calm down for a few days... but then I couldn't get out of my mind the fact of me having a baby inside. Hell no!! I'm so freaking young, it CAN'T be real... My period would start the 30th if I'm not pregnant, but I can't wait 'til that date, I need answers and I need them now. My hair is falling down, my nails are a disaster, all because of my anxious mood... Jesus Christ! I'll NEVER had sex with my boyfriend until I have the contraceptive pill. I won't be on risk anymore...
I'll do the pregnancy test on tomorrow's morning. I'll post the result, whichever it be. I don't feel so happy today... nope, nope, nope. This is too much for me, I can't handle it. I can wait to tomorrow for seeing that negative mark on the test's screen.
God, I beg you... save me.
Free love (always with condom)~
Daily (SCARED) Deb.
I'm so anxious!!! Today I've bought my first pregnancy test. I hope it will be negative... I'm so scared.
About a month ago (not exactly, idk, duh) I had sex with my boyfriend, but he used condom! But I'd started to bleed by my vagina for 4 complete days. I was so nervous because I didn't know what could it be, so I told my mum: she doesn't get mad, she understood me and try to comfort me. She told me that if we use protection, the possibility of getting pregnant was the lowest, so I calm down for a few days... but then I couldn't get out of my mind the fact of me having a baby inside. Hell no!! I'm so freaking young, it CAN'T be real... My period would start the 30th if I'm not pregnant, but I can't wait 'til that date, I need answers and I need them now. My hair is falling down, my nails are a disaster, all because of my anxious mood... Jesus Christ! I'll NEVER had sex with my boyfriend until I have the contraceptive pill. I won't be on risk anymore...
I'll do the pregnancy test on tomorrow's morning. I'll post the result, whichever it be. I don't feel so happy today... nope, nope, nope. This is too much for me, I can't handle it. I can wait to tomorrow for seeing that negative mark on the test's screen.
God, I beg you... save me.
Free love (always with condom)~
Daily (SCARED) Deb.
Monday, 24 August 2015
24/08/2014.
Hey you, It's me, Deb.
Today has been a strange day. The yesterday's pill made me stay at bed 'til 12 o'clock. Jesus! But then, the walk with my dogs was great. We walked down the road and we came to a land. The older one was smelling something all the time, and in a moment, she started running so damn fast! I followed her with the younger one and we found her staring at a very big hole. I was a little bit exhausted because of the run, and the hole doesn't makes me so happy, so I decided to go back home.
The evening was so boring. I decided to watch a film, "Inside Out". I know, it's a childish film, but I wanted to see it. It was not as good as I thought, but it was not bad. It taught me that sadness is not that bad, and is a necessary emotion... so I let the sadness be. I started crying a river, and I couldn't stop. It was totally out of my control, but I can't help it.
These days I'm feeling so lonly, I'm not feeling happy at all. It's just like when I was diagnosed, and I'm scared of having that mental illnes... AGAIN!! PLEASE DON'T!
Well, I guess if I had it again is just because I diserve it... it will be okay.
Returning to the main theme, after crying, I went to the supermarket to get a bottle of juice (I am actually tired of water OMG), but while I was walking, I saw two men with a very strange looking. Sometimes, they just stand and seek for me with their eyes. I was so scared so I decided to ring my boyfriend... but he doesn't answer. I started sending him so much messages, and finally he answered me. He was worried about me. I told him what was going on and he gave me the advice of just stand in front of a house's door and make like if I was waiting the owners to open. It worked! The two of them left me alone. By the way, I came into the supermarket running to get my juice and then I went back home also running.
Then, I just walked my dogs out, closer to home, not like this morning. I don't want to get near that hole never again, huh!
So now I'm going to sleep. It's been a long day...
Free love!
Daily Deb~
Today has been a strange day. The yesterday's pill made me stay at bed 'til 12 o'clock. Jesus! But then, the walk with my dogs was great. We walked down the road and we came to a land. The older one was smelling something all the time, and in a moment, she started running so damn fast! I followed her with the younger one and we found her staring at a very big hole. I was a little bit exhausted because of the run, and the hole doesn't makes me so happy, so I decided to go back home.
The evening was so boring. I decided to watch a film, "Inside Out". I know, it's a childish film, but I wanted to see it. It was not as good as I thought, but it was not bad. It taught me that sadness is not that bad, and is a necessary emotion... so I let the sadness be. I started crying a river, and I couldn't stop. It was totally out of my control, but I can't help it.
These days I'm feeling so lonly, I'm not feeling happy at all. It's just like when I was diagnosed, and I'm scared of having that mental illnes... AGAIN!! PLEASE DON'T!
Well, I guess if I had it again is just because I diserve it... it will be okay.
Returning to the main theme, after crying, I went to the supermarket to get a bottle of juice (I am actually tired of water OMG), but while I was walking, I saw two men with a very strange looking. Sometimes, they just stand and seek for me with their eyes. I was so scared so I decided to ring my boyfriend... but he doesn't answer. I started sending him so much messages, and finally he answered me. He was worried about me. I told him what was going on and he gave me the advice of just stand in front of a house's door and make like if I was waiting the owners to open. It worked! The two of them left me alone. By the way, I came into the supermarket running to get my juice and then I went back home also running.
Then, I just walked my dogs out, closer to home, not like this morning. I don't want to get near that hole never again, huh!
So now I'm going to sleep. It's been a long day...
Free love!
Daily Deb~
Daily Deb talks.
This is my first post on this blog, I'm so excited! I'm going to introduce myself, for you all to know me better.
So... my name is Deb. I'm just a normal girl, who was diagnosed with several depression and anxiety at age 11. Now, I'm much better, Yay me!!
This blog is also for me to practice my English writing, because I'm not British, Irish or something like that. I'm from a Country with Spanish language. I hope if you read this, you post a comment down below and support me and all this things.
Free love!
Daily Deb~.
So... my name is Deb. I'm just a normal girl, who was diagnosed with several depression and anxiety at age 11. Now, I'm much better, Yay me!!
This blog is also for me to practice my English writing, because I'm not British, Irish or something like that. I'm from a Country with Spanish language. I hope if you read this, you post a comment down below and support me and all this things.
Free love!
Daily Deb~.
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