31/08/2015.

Hey you, it's me, Deb!

Tomorrow is September, and that makes me happy because it means I'm going to start school early! Yay! New adventures, good times with my friends, learning a lot... it's awesome going to school when you study what you want, not what they tell you. I'm studying Humanities, with languages like Latin, Greek... also I'm studying History, and I don't study anything like Maths, Physics, Biology... 

Well, I wanted to tell you that I didn't do anything special today, but I talked with my boyfriend about all this shit on my head and we talked about the cheating topic, and now we're well. I'm fine with it, I can overcome it and I'm so happy today because I know I love him, and I know he loves me. We are the perfect couple lmao, not really. 

I also wanted to tell you, just for you knowing and laugh, that today on morning while I was writing my ex-boyfriend post, my grandma came to my room TOTALLY NAKED. I was like WHAT THE HELL GRANNY PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!! and all she told me was: "Hey Deb, I'm going to take a shower". I was shocked. Wtf granny?? Don't do stuff like that ANYMORE! But that's not all, the worst thing is that the window was completely opened and the blinds were up. On the community of my neighborhood we have a commun area with a pool, and children is always running, swimming and playing there. Okay, my room is viewed by all who are on the common area. Guess how many children saw my granny naked today... NAILED IT, GRANDMA!

But my day doesn't end up there, nope. Tomorrow I have to go to the dermatologist and I didn't know it until the 12:00p.m. I didn't have a shower because I wanted to take it tomorrow's morning and my hair wasn't dirty enough, so when I realised that I have to go to a doctor tomorrow I freaked out and I decided to DYE MY HAIR AT 1:00P.M. BECAUSE I'M FLAWLESS. The fact is that I've never dyed my hair on my own before, my mum always did it, but today I hadn't got time for that and also she was asleep, so I have to do it on my own... The result was AWESOME! I'm so proud of myself, it looks like I've just come out of the Barber Shop! Okay, not like that, but it looks great and healthy! (that's difficult because I'm blonde...) and I'm so happy with the result!

And I think there's nothing left to tell you today... Oh, yes! I'm going to do a Tinkerbell's film marathon this night. So excited! Yeah, I know I'm too old for those films, but I don't care, I like them and I'm going to see them whenever I want, and PROUDLY! 

See you tomorrow!!

Daily Happy Deb! <3

30/08/2015. (LATE)

I know I didn't post anything new yesterday, because I didn't feel like writing a new post, so there you got a new double post.

Today I've been stalking my ex boyfriend's Twitter, just for curiosity, and I saw some tweets that made me think. I saw that now he's getting depressed, and nobody is caring about it, just like when we started dating on 2012, and also a tweet said LITERALLY: "Are we in 2012 yet? Or 2013? I don't mind". Well, so I'm going to pull away all my fucking anger. This is just for you:

I know you'll never read this, but however I'm going to tell you what I think about you. Our relationship was a fucking very gorgeous shiny sparkling shit. Yeah, it could seem pretty from the outside, but only we both know how it really was. We were not in love, at least not you. Now, I know I wasn't in love with you, also. We were dating because of we need to be with other person to feel something, but, you know? You'll never diserve my feelings or even my tears. You were the shit of our relationship! You always wanted everything, you didn't gave me my space. You made me doubt about my best friend, just because you were jealous of him, even when I told you I'll never feel anything for him! But you still doing all this shit, and that's the reason of your fails on relationships. You're manipulator, cold, distant, observator. Your love is not even strong as the other person's one. You don't love anyone but yourself! And not even that, because YOU HATE YOURSELF!!! You're so self-destructive and that hurts the people who loves you, like your parents or your sister, OR ME WHEN I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND, but you NEVER think in the other person, it's only you!! When you started acting mad, you scared me, you made me cut, you made me feel like the worst person in the world just because I couldn't make you happy, but now I'm older I can realise that it was all YOUR FAULT, AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE LIKE THAT, BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO TREAT PEOPLE AS THAT, YOU TREAT THEM LIKE SHIT, LIKE OBJECTS OF YOUR OWN THAT YOU CAN CONTROL HOWEVER YOU FUCKING WANT, AND IS NOT LIKE THAT!! People need space, need to live their lives. Now I know that you'll never diserve me, and I've been a long time sad because of our breakup, but the only thing you really broke was my mind, not even my heart. You made me change, you made me a depressive person. But as I said, you don't diserve anything from me, so I'll be happy as hell while I watch how you burn yourself down in flames, and nobody is going to help you, because you are a fucking piece of shit.

Never yours,

Daily Deb.

29/08/2015.

Hey you, it's me again...

I'm depressed today. I've had a fight with my boyfriend and we hadn't talk yet since that. I don't feel good.

Also, I didn't do anything interesting today. I hadn't go to anywhere, but I watched that film I told you yesterday, "Dear John". It's awesome, I liked it so much, but I much rather "The Notebook".

However, I'm still waiting a message from my boyfriend, but I think he's not going to text me today. He's angry, and proud... but I'm proud also, and I won't text him. At least, not yet.

Those fights are usual in us, but it feels so bad. I don't like it, I don't like to be angry with him. It makes me so sad.

I had nothing to tell you today. Sorry about this post, you guys. I hope the next one will be longer.

See you tomorrow.

Daily Deb.

28/08/2015.

Hey you, it's me, Deb!

My period hasn't come yet... awesome. I'm scared again. Today I've watched TWO FILMS: "Tinkerbell and the legend of Neverbeast" and "I am the Juani". Tonight, I'll see "Dear John". I need to tell you that the Tinkerbell one made me cry more than "The Notebook". I'm serious. It's awesome if you like animals.

The other one made me remember my boyfriend. "I am the Juani" tells the story of Juani, a girl who lives on Barcelona and wants to be an actress. His boyfriend, Jonah, cheated on her and she caught him while he was fucking that bitch... and sadly, this is what made me remember my boyfriend.

I'm on a one year relationship and now we are happy as hell together, but when we were on our 2 months, he cheated on me with two girls. Yes, I know, I'm so dumb for forgiving him, but understand me, I was in love with him... and now, this thoughts are torturing me again.

I just can remember the moment when one of the girls texted me and told me that she was the new girlfriend of him, and told me to forget about him. I was shocked. At first I thought it was a joke and it was him from the mobile phone of a friend, but actually it was not. It was real. He cheated on me.

I couldn't break up with him, but I asked him for a time, only a week. It felt so weird, the fact of seeing him "online" and don't text him. But that was what I decided and I wanted to respect it... as you can imagine, I couldn't. After a day, we went back together, and we still, but sometimes I remember this and I can't stop crying. I know he loves me, and I love him too, but I think I'll never forget this... I have to live with it. Those are thoughts that I can't fight, I have to deal with it.

I'm not feeling good today... such a shit day.

I'll talk to you tomorrow, dears.

Free love (without cheat, please)~

Daily Sad Deb.

27/08/2014.

Hey you, it's me, Deb!

I'm writing from the hospital: my mother had a date with the doctor, but the hospital has delay and we've been waiting for two hours since we came here. DISGUSTING!! I just want to go home! And that's not all: there is so fvcking cold. I think there are less than 18 degrees. I'll write later!

So here I am again. It's 9:45pm. Today was a busy day. By the time we arrived to the hospital, my paternal grandmother became ill, so we found her right there, on the Cardiology's room. She told us that the cardiologist has to check her because she'd got a little heart attack. I was so scared, but we wait until the cardiologist told us that she was well and there were no problem but a low-salt diet (because of her high tension). We were very relieved when we heard that.

After the hospital, we went back home, and my dear mother decided to make a Full-House-Cleaning, of course, with my help. My work was to clean the courtains, the windows and the blind. Cool. I spent about a hour an a half to get only all the windows clean. While I was doing this stuff, the courtains were on the washer, and as you can imagine, I also had to hang up them again, but I'm a awkward girl, and the drapery rod just broken up when I started hanging the third one... don't yay me. By the time the drapery rod breaks, my mother came into the living room and saw what just happend. You can imagine the anger she threw me... I tried to fix the drapery rod with electrical tape, and it worked. But it's a secret... don't tell anyone!

When I finished my work, I wanted to lay in bed, just for a few minutes to rest a little bit, but I fall asleep quickly, and nobody woke me up!! :(

Then when I woke up, I had some messages from my boyfriend, so we were talking for a long time when her mother took his phone and sent me: "Hi Deb, would you like to come home for 6 days? Ask your parents, the door is open". I was shocked, LOL. Btw, I ran to my father and I told him as fast as I could, and he told me that it was right, but I had to take my mother's permission first... fvck, there I have a big deal. I went to the living room where my mother was playing a videogame and I asked her permission. At the beginning, she told me that she didn't want me to go his home (I think because of all the pregnancy stuff... haha), but then I told her I will be on my period in those days, and the fact that I won't do anything with him in his parent's house, so she told me that she was going to have a think. YAY ME, I HAVE A POSSIBILITY!! 

Well dears, I'm going to watch a film. I don't know which one, but I'll tell you tomorrow how it was!

Free love~

Daily Deb.

26/08/2015.

Hey you, it's me, Deb!

*BEFORE YOU READ: I'm so sorry about posting this late, really, but I couldn't post it earlier because I had dinner with my parents and we had a very long talk, so... here I am, there you got the answers you were asking for. Enjoy!*

Today was a lazy day for me, I didn't feel so happy to make things as always, so I decided to stay all day at home. But I know you're waiting for the results of my pregnancy test, so there you have... the answer I get was NEGATIVE, so I'M NOT PREGNANT! YAY ME!!!

I was a little bit scared at the beginning, because I had to make pee on a glass, and that's a little bit difficult for a girl. I mean, girls don't have any thing that moves for scoring in a glass. I put my pregnancy test into the glass, and I started waiting 'til the result appeared on the screen, and it was a minus sign! It meant negative! I'M TOTALLY FREE! So now I'm just waiting to my period, not to enthusiastic, but meehhh, it's no use crying over split milk!

So, as I told you before, I stayed at home all day, I didn't feel good to make things. I was searching on the internet some films to watch in the evening, and I wanted one about love that would make me cry! So I chose "P.S: I love you". I thought it could be a good film, but actually is not (at least for me)! It's long as hell and boring as a stone! It's too slow for me. The main character it's a girl who was widowed just at the FVCKING BEGINNING, and the whole film is about how our widow receives a lot of letters from her dead husband, who sent them before he died, and how she's trying to forget him.

Tbh, I hadn't finished the film yet, and I think I'll never do, because, as I told you, is BORING, blah!!

Now I'm going to watch another film, maybe a Disney's one! IDK!!

See you tomorrow! Free Love!~

Daily Deb.

25/08/2015.

Hey you, it's me, Deb!
I'm so anxious!!! Today I've bought my first pregnancy test. I hope it will be negative... I'm so scared.
About a month ago (not exactly, idk, duh) I had sex with my boyfriend, but he used condom! But I'd started to bleed by my vagina for 4 complete days. I was so nervous because I didn't know what could it be, so I told my mum: she doesn't get mad, she understood me and try to comfort me. She told me that if we use protection, the possibility of getting pregnant was the lowest, so I calm down for a few days... but then I couldn't get out of my mind the fact of me having a baby inside. Hell no!! I'm so freaking young, it CAN'T be real... My period would start the 30th if I'm not pregnant, but I can't wait 'til that date, I need answers and I need them now. My hair is falling down, my nails are a disaster, all because of my anxious mood... Jesus Christ! I'll NEVER had sex with my boyfriend until I have the contraceptive pill. I won't be on risk anymore...

I'll do the pregnancy test on tomorrow's morning. I'll post the result, whichever it be. I don't feel so happy today... nope, nope, nope. This is too much for me, I can't handle it. I can wait to tomorrow for seeing that negative mark on the test's screen.

God, I beg you... save me.

Free love (always with condom)~

Daily (SCARED) Deb.

24/08/2014.

Hey you, It's me, Deb.
Today has been a strange day. The yesterday's pill made me stay at bed 'til 12 o'clock. Jesus! But then, the walk with my dogs was great. We walked down the road and we came to a land. The older one was smelling something all the time, and in a moment, she started running so damn fast! I followed her with the younger one and we found her staring at a very big hole. I was a little bit exhausted because of the run, and the hole doesn't makes me so happy, so I decided to go back home.

The evening was so boring. I decided to watch a film, "Inside Out". I know, it's a childish film, but I wanted to see it. It was not as good as I thought, but it was not bad. It taught me that sadness is not that bad, and is a necessary emotion... so I let the sadness be. I started crying a river, and I couldn't stop. It was totally out of my control, but I can't help it.
These days I'm feeling so lonly, I'm not feeling happy at all. It's just like when I was diagnosed, and I'm scared of having that mental illnes... AGAIN!! PLEASE DON'T!

Well, I guess if I had it again is just because I diserve it... it will be okay.

Returning to the main theme, after crying, I went to the supermarket to get a bottle of juice (I am actually tired of water OMG), but while I was walking, I saw two men with a very strange looking. Sometimes, they just stand and seek for me with their eyes. I was so scared so I decided to ring my boyfriend... but he doesn't answer. I started sending him so much messages, and finally he answered me. He was worried about me. I told him what was going on and he gave me the advice of just stand in front of a house's door and make like if I was waiting the owners to open. It worked! The two of them left me alone. By the way, I came into the supermarket running to get my juice and then I went back home also running.

Then, I just walked my dogs out, closer to home, not like this morning. I don't want to get near that hole never again, huh!

So now I'm going to sleep. It's been a long day...

Free love!

Daily Deb~

Daily Deb talks.

This is my first post on this blog, I'm so excited! I'm going to introduce myself, for you all to know me better.
So... my name is Deb. I'm just a normal girl, who was diagnosed with several depression and anxiety at age 11. Now, I'm much better, Yay me!!
This blog is also for me to practice my English writing, because I'm not British, Irish or something like that. I'm from a Country with Spanish language. I hope if you read this, you post a comment down below and support me and all this things.


Free love!

Daily Deb~.